worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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