Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
