the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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