dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
