suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
