I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You pole danced in your parka.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
