2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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