She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Randomize
