the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I smell stomach acid.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
