So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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