what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
