there's paper in my vomit.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
