I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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