no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Please don't give away my fajitas
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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