i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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