carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
ok first of all what the fuck
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