Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
