i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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