If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
