we're blogging at a bar
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
