omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
