Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
