Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
