your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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