He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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