You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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