i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
