You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
