Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
