ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
