He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I love you.
Bad choice
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
