This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
No subtext here. People are naked.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
