I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
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