my mouth tastes like poor choices
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
