I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
