Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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