oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
