Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
