Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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