she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Randomize
