So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
