It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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