Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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