She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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