Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
