Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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