: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
