pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
