hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
