why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize