Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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