I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
