My nipple is on Facebook.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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