He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
