How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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