By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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