he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
