he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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