He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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